E. Kant Rant

(meant to be read with a British accent)

why don't 'e read more philosophy?

E. Kant.

'e should try then.

No, I'm suggesting E Kant.

Seriously, 'e can, whether you suggest it or not!

Emmanuel Kant.

How do you know Emmanuel can't?

I've read 'im.

If you can, then Emmanuel can! Sheesh! Boy's at least twice as smart as you. Stupid git.

pocket full of compound w

this one is about a super hero who breaks out in warts, a side-effect of the mutation. i'll either set it in a time when noone had heard of "super heroes" as a genre or in the present, where the character can't deal with the ugly nubbins on his body. either way, it drives him mad and his health deteriorates. put that in your marvel pipe and d.c. smoking jacket, punks!

a good book

people love to consume media. what if it were the other way around?

a book that devours readers, growing it's internal story. the short story would follow the book from place to place as new readers are brought into it. and at the end of course, the reader would feel like he/she was similarly taken.

the day the celebrity company was born

so, the store opened after a final 60-to-0 countdown. cheers resounded throughout the city streets, and cameras were held aloft as people recorded the scene. people were taking their last photos with their non-iPhones. they were well on their way to coolness. you would think there was a foreign dignitary in town, or at least a popular celebrity. but no, but was for a portable technology offering from a popular company.

it takes technology to mobilize a re-evolution. and a post-acquisition franchise coffee.

sad rhombus

one there was a sad rhombus who upset the squares. he was all hunched over and had spots. the other parallelograms picked on him, especially the elitist squares. even the quadrilaterals got in on the act, then the class of rectangles at large.

this rhombus had to sit at the back of the bus.

the unknown

there is comfort in the unknown, knowing that you do not know what fate lies around the corner, what the coroner will mutter under his breath over your recently deceased corpse. and what your mother will think then they pry open your hard drive. always wear clean underware!

cobol programmer

he was a cobol programmer. now he drives a porsche w/licence plate: y2k 911. he's a-okay, makin' that mo'nay. takin' a to'nay, but he's so lone'lay. 'cause now the job's gone 'way.