deja tu is so much friendlier than deja vu. both refer to a sort of futurized memory that is triggered when the scene is relived.
until i met her, i could've sworn i hadn't ever seen her before this day. but something about her hair floating in the breeze, undisturbed by her body, as they shot along their own trajectories, the sound of the bus' brakes ringing through the streets, the smell of warm pads soon to follow, seemed so familiar to me.
i felt horrible for not addressing her as she passed by, letting her walk out into the oncoming cars without greeting, without warning. i thought she knew the lights were out. i had turned just in time to witness the impact.
as her head rolled past, the pale blue eyes staring up at me, i realized that this has not yet happened... it is but a deja tu waiting for a formalism. i fear the day that it does.
Monday, April 9, 2007
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